Even the owner of a black belt on sexual single combats who is happily married for the fifth time can make these mistakes.
Laurie Watson is a certified doctor — sexologist, family therapist and author of the book, during his more than 27-year-old practice has seen a lot of couples have problems with sex. And she found that experience or age did not play a role. Both neophytes and experienced women can make the same mistakes. If they are eliminated, the sex life will become alive and bright again.
So, that is, according to Laurie Watson, between partners and great sex.
Too vague initiative
Men — being simple and in most cases, subtle hints and implicit signals calling for sex, can not read. A languid look, a turn of the head, a relaxed pose or a question: “Can we watch a movie?”— for some men and remain just a look, just a turn of the head or just a desire to fall on the sofa and turn on your favorite TV series. Especially if a man is used to being the initiator.
Solution: men also like it when they want it. Sometimes it is not bad to say directly about the sexual attractiveness of the partner and his desire to have sex with him right now. “I love your body so much, I can’t wait to hug you” or “I’m in such a playful mood, can we go to the bedroom?” they don’t sound that bad. Don’t want to talk? Touch the lover, but also in those places that it became unambiguously clear to him — you want him.
Too rare mention of their desires
A man can simply forget that his partner likes long foreplay or that she hates cunnilingus. Yes, that’s right — just forgot that it excites the stimulation of the clitoris, not the vagina. Laurie Watson believes that when it comes to sex, a man instinctively forgets everything else, including the requests and wishes of his partner, and focuses exclusively on the process. Such is the instinct of procreation.
Solution: remind. That love, not love, like prefer to your business, and how you shouldn’t touch ever. Repetition is the mother of learning.
Too much obsession with the flaws of the body
Most men are perfectly able to enjoy the process and the fact that they are in bed with a real naked woman. To feel the soft skin and be able to kiss it and touch it wherever you want — that’s what the partner thinks at this moment.
Women often can not relax because of feelings about the smoothness of the legs, figure flaws. Laurie Watson is sure that men see the flaws of the figure, but do not attach any importance to them. Partner important woman whole, with all its imperfect parts.
Solution: you need to turn off your internal criticism. Laurie Watson advises you to relax by focusing on your breathing. It is enough just to breathe, to feel, rise and fall of his chest, letting go of thoughts and concentrate on sensations. Then it will be easier to feel how the pelvic floor muscles are compressed, to feel the strength and power of your body, which gives so much pleasure.
Too strong doubts about his skill
Porn is to blame: many women think that in real life for sex you need a degree in Kama Sutra and a diploma of a circus equilibrist with 30 years of experience. Lori Watson for his practice was convinced that most men manage to do without every second change of positions. Most importantly, the woman experienced the pleasure of caressing the partner. And how she does it, how well or cleverly, it doesn’t matter.
Solution: if you doubt your abilities, ask your loved one what exactly he likes. It’s great when a woman owns fashionable techniques of oral skill, but you should not get hung up on the technical side. It is necessary to be yourself and enjoy the process of studying the body of a loved one.
Too innocent touch to partner
Yes, men are simple creatures, but even the most initiative and dominant like when a woman touches them, especially in the genital area. The problem is that women often touch their partners as they would like to be touched — very easily and gently. Men often want to favorite woman took, so to speak, the bull by the horns. And itself, without preliminary request.
Solution: before jade stem will enter the cave of the Lotus, unleash your hands and stimulate it. Of course, do not treat delicate organs as a lump of dough. But a little more pressure will not hurt.
To be fair we will note that men too have the rake on which they trample. For example, many people worry about their masculinity, the duration of an erection. These experiences can even cause temporary powerlessness or some detachment from the partner. Just at such moments, it seems to her that he is thinking about someone or something else. There is resentment out of the blue.
The key to a successful relationship is trust and the ability to talk about their fears and experiences.